Hasan Visits 'Subtle Asian Traits' | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

Hasan Visits 'Subtle Asian Traits' | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix



Hey guys, it’s Hasan. Recently I found out about a Facebook
group called “Subtle Asian Traits.” It was started by a bunch of
Australian-Asian high school students and it quickly became this thing where Asians from around the
world could talk about stuff. You have to submit a
request to be accepted, so I submitted my request and I got in. So I decided to do an AMA
with “Subtle Asian Traits.” Here we go. Honorary boba. Ok. ‘Are you planning on waving your arms
less in the second season of Patriot Act?’ Honestly you guys,
it’s the only cardio I get. ‘Being that you’re from the India, have you ever been told
that you’re not really Asian? How have you navigated this?’ Ok, I have been told I’m an ABCD, which means
American-Born Confused Desi. And I get clowned the
most whenever I speak Hindi. Because you have to sort of
grade ABCDs in their Hindi skills, it’s like a curve. You have to be like, “Hey, you’re pretty good for a
person who grew up here.” If I’m talking to my Nani, the ABCD factor in my
Hindi is very apparent. So I’m always like
“Grandma, how are you?” And then people who are
actually from India are like, [in Hindi: “How are you?”] And I’m just like, “Fuck you!” It’s very embarrassing. ‘Do you like Fruit Roll-Ups
or Gushers more?’ Fruit Roll-Ups. Gushers are gross, there’s too much juice in there. Get your shit together, Gushers. ‘Hey Hasan, what’s your favorite field
piece you’ve done on The Daily Show? And who’s your comedic hero and why?’ J Stew. Jewish Yoda. So my favorite piece on
The Daily Show was I did this interview with Canadian
prime minister Justin Trudeau in a full-on Canadian tuxedo. I wore a denim jacket, denim pants, a
denim dress shirt, and a denim tie. I did the whole interview, I did not bat an eye, I did not reference the suit. At the end of the interview, you know I’m like in
Parliament in Canada, so at the end of the
interview I had to be like, “Hey, I’m sorry, I don’t
normally dress like this, I was just doing it
for the interview.” And Justin Trudeau was like “Oh my dad wore that outfit.” I’m like, “Pierre Trudeau wore this?” He’s like “Oh you haven’t
seen the painting?” And there's a painting
of Pierre Trudeau in a full-on real Canadian tuxedo exactly like I was wearing
in The Daily Show field piece. So, that was pretty cool. 'Hasan Minhaj, you need to be
on Subtle Curry Traits bro.’ Bro, part 2, we’re fuckin’ doin’ it. ‘Top 3 favorite kicks’ Ok, I’ve answered this
a bunch you guys, this is a very simple answer. Air Jordan 11 Concord. Air Jordan 3 White Cement. And of course Airwalks. Shoutout to Airwalks. Just like an all-time grail shoe. ‘Chai or boba?’ Ok this is very controversial. And I know I’m gonna
divide the internet here but *sighs* I prefer chai. Please don’t kill me. Please don’t kill me. ‘Hasan, I’ve been a huge fan
of yours since The Daily Show!’ Exclamation point! ‘So incredibly dumbfounded
you found this group. Feels like a huge distance
between regular folks and celebrities has been abridged!’ Exclamation point! *Feeling starstruck.* I am curious, did you finally get redemption
from that Groupon proposal?’ Now the wonderful
folks at Groupon, this is true story, they sent me a tweet— I think it was a great tweet— and they gave me a
complimentary Groupon. It was for $14 to
Applebee’s in Oregon. It’s not even Portland, Oregon. It’s Bend, Oregon, right? Bend, right? [off-screen]
Redmond. Oh, Redmond It’s in Redmond, Oregon. So I’m just gonna look up real quick how much it is to fly out there. So a roundtrip flight
from EWR is like 200 bucks. We got a middle seat
with one connection. I say fuck it, me and Beena spend
a quick 400 bucks. Get to Redmond. We gotta probably rent a car. Rent a car– so add that on top of it. Can we just calculate
that, put that in there? Hit that Applebee’s, definitely have to go with water, can’t be getting a beverage. We’ll pick an app. And I think it’ll cover half
of an entree for one of us. All-in-all, thank you
so much @groupon. ‘Can you post the third
picture from your phone?’ Yes. Here we go. Ok, my wife asks me to get
milk the other day. And then I texted her,
which one do you want. ‘So I know you’re a
big fan of the lota. But do you still prefer it to a
bidet or a Japanese washlet? I feel like I’d rather
just press a button and have the toilet seat do
the rest of the work for me.’ I completely agree, the Japanese
washlet is the fucking truth. For those of you
guys who don’t know, you’ve got the heated seat. You get to determine
the water pressure, also the temperature
of the water itself. And you have drying action. I’m not talking about drying
action in the bathroom itself, I’m talking about drying action in
the Southern Hemisphere of your body. It’s incredible. Whenever I go to a Japanese
restaurant and they have it, I spend about 30 to 45
minutes in the bathroom. People knock and
bang on the door, but I’m just like,
wait your turn. I’m enjoying this amazing toilet seat. Ok, this is a question.
‘Do you like mangos?’ That is a ridic—, that is just— ok. How could you possibly
think I don’t like mangos? I’m mad at the lack of
specificity in that question because if you’ve
had Indian mangos you know there’s
no other comparison. Specifically, Alphonso
mangos are pretty dope. I’ve been spoiled, I’ve had mangos
in the motherland, and when you come back to
the United States of America, you’re like, continental
U.S. mangos suck. Go to Asia and have mangos. Your life will never
be the same again. Alright guys that’s our AMA. Thank you guys so much. Thank you to everyone
at “Subtle Asian Traits.” Thank you for all your questions. And shoutouts to
all the boba memes. But if we could get some
more chai memes in there, that’d be great. Feel free to use my face, we’ve got plenty of GIFs. You could use the GIFs. And I’ll see you guys every Sunday when Patriot Act
returns on February 10th. Peace.

41 thoughts on “Hasan Visits 'Subtle Asian Traits' | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

Leave a Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *