I’m Dating 4 Guys – And Now I’m Pregnant | LOVE DON’T JUDGE


This is Tory. She fell in love with Travis, and Ethan and Mark and Chris. Their four way relationship is working wonders for them. Mark: The relationship
could best be described by having Tory as the hub and all of us are spokes on a giant wheel. But not everyone
understands the dynamic. Alistair: I was like,
“Oh, you’re kidding,” “that you’re joking.” How will this poly relationship cope with the further
addition to the family? Tory: This is mine
and Travis’s room. This is the master bedroom. This is the room that has the bigger bed that people will
swap in and out of every night just so that everyone can get equal
turns no sharing the bed. While this is like
mine and Travis’s room we keep all of our stuff in here people are rotating in and out. The first poly amorous
relationship I had been in was actually with
Travis and Ethan, Travis was one who had
brought up the idea to me. We met back in
elementary school, we’ve been dating for about two and a
half, almost three years. I’ve known Ethan since junior high. And we made things official recently, but we’ve basically been
dating for about two years now. The term poly meaning multiple, often refers to a three
person relationship. But for these guys, it’s Tory and her
four separate lovers. Tory: And the next
one will be Mark we met in high school. And then Chris is
the newest addition. We’ve been dating since April. Mark: The relationship
could best be described by having Tory as the hub and all of us are spokes on a giant wheel. Tory: All right,
I’m starting with a good card. I have yay. Yeah. Mark: We have to try not to be. [Laughter] Tory: Definitely Chris. Chris: Listen, It’s not my fault. Ethan: It is your fault. Chris: I rarely play
this game to win. I generally just
like sowing chaos. While this poly quintet, are happy to play
games with one another. That’s as far as play
goes for the boys in this relationship. We’re not romantic
with each other. We’re all just
connected with her. Although Tory might like
it to be another way. Tory: They’re all more than
welcome to have another partner if they so choose, but as of currently, no. honestly, I would love it if somebody found a second partner. You know,
dividing time in between all five people and making sure everyone feels
included is kind of difficult. But there are problems when four men are vying for just one woman’s attention. Ethan: Regretfully,
a lot of the time, But … thankfully, there are a couple of healthy ways to deal with it. Primarily just
talking to each other. Travis: We have a
tendency to talk around the moment of “Hey,
I need some time with Tory” rather than actually saying it
out, right? Ethan: Yeah. Travis: But introvert, introvert, extrovert, extrovert, introvert. Tory: Yeah. Travis: So only two of us are actually any good at
open communication. It helps if you know the person. an example …
seeing her with Ethan a lot easier because I was friends with him. Her and Chris was a bit dicey at first there was a lot more jealousy and I’ll openly admit that. the same goes for Mark because
I’d never interacted with him. Chris: I’m going to
have to nay that. Ethan: I nay your nay. Travis: But for me
personally, yeah, I’ve never been with the idea of not having her. So I’ve always looked for a poly amorous relationship. Chris: I don’t really
know, to be honest. Travis: I guess I’d
be I’m open to it, but I’m not going
to go after it. I know, Ethan and I sort of tried back in high
school, and that kind of flopped really fast. Tory: I can’t. Chris: Oh, yeah. That sucks. And now this five
way relationship is about to be joined by an additional member. Tory: All right,
and in here we have the nursery. So it’s starting to get set up It’s not quite done yet, not due for another
couple of months, so we still have some more time. So I am currently about 23 – 24 weeks pregnant. We found out a couple of weeks ago
that we’re having a girl. We’re very excited. Tory: So Chris is the biological father. We just know that because of timing. But as far as I guess, socially goes, we’re all raising
the baby together, so everyone’s dad. So Chris,
how do you feel about everyone operating the role of dad? Chris: It’s definitely
a little interesting. I mean,
I grew up with the idea of, one dad, one mom, but … there’s a lot of support between all of us dads. We always joke about
the idea of getting stuck in an endless loop
of “go ask your dad.” [Laughter] Having an unusual
relationship structure has meant they’ve
all received judgment in different forms. Tory: Polyamory is definitely an uncommon thing. A lot of people I’ve grown up in monogamy culture of you know you don’t
really love someone if you have eyes
for somebody else. Chris: It sucks to have
to say but I probably have more of a negative reaction from
friends and family. When I first got into
the relationship, my friend group was not very supportive
of it at all. My family is slowly
coming around to the idea the pregnancy has
helped with that. Tory: Most of my friends know all of my partners and they love us and they think that
we’re cute and such. My family … is kind of quiet about their disapproval. The relationship was also met with mixed feelings by Tory’s closest relation. Alistair: I will
admit that since I’m her older brother that I just have that tendency I suppose to be protective. I wasn’t expecting the
pregnancy announcement. That one was a little
bit of a shocker for me. As… you know that protective
older brothers, I was like, “Oh,
you’re so young”. I was like, “Oh, you’re kidding,” ” That you’re joking.” No. But now, since then,
it’s really exciting. I’m very excited
to meet my niece. It takes a village
to raise a child and all of that. I just feel like the more love that you could put
in, the better the outcome for the kid can be. Tory: There’s
little face picture. Little foot in the middle. Despite the judgment, jealousy and jostling for attention, these guys are more than excited to welcome the sixth person, into their family. Chris: I’m a little
partial to us, but I couldn’t think of a better
family to raise a baby in. Travis: I’m definitely excited. This is going to
be an adventure. So… I’m more than ready for it.

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