One Husband’s Mission to Provide Stability for His Family | Black Love | Oprah Winfrey Network

One Husband’s Mission to Provide Stability for His Family | Black Love | Oprah Winfrey Network


We got married
September 26, 2015. Yeah. We left for our honeymoon
like three days later. And we got back October 11. So on October the 31st,
that’s when we found out we were having a baby. And so, we were only
married one month. Yeah. One month. When people say, like, we
jumped into our marriage, like we jumped in headfirst– [BREATHLESS LAUGH]
We’re all the way in. –like, we were
all the way in. Like, it was no, like, oh,
I’m going to get in the house and get to know you. And then, you know,
I’m going to cook these fabulous meals for you. And everything’s
going to be perfect. I’m going to be clicking
around the heels all day. No. No, it was a real– once we got married,
it was like, you know, you’re throwing up, you’re– you
know, it was a real experience. You know, it was– I mean, it was very scary. Yeah, it was. And the beauty
of it was Ben made a decision for us as a family
after B.J. was born, so 2016. He said look, we need– we need to go move
to Atlanta, where you have, like, a support system. And so– I was used to
change my whole life. So I was having to move to
places when I wasn’t ready. I come from a very
dysfunctional family. Like, my mom lost me to foster
care at six months of age. You know, I went through
the court system. So I never had stability. It was just my mom and myself– when she was around. And then she had a very, you
know, hard drug addiction. So I bounced around
my whole life. From high school, I lived
with three different families in a four-year period. So I was like the
“Blind Side” story, Antwone Fisher rolled into one. And then my dad was
around, like, at the age of seven for five minutes. And I didn’t see him
again until I found him on an internet search. So there was no real outlook
to look at, you know, a relationship, one-on-one. And I just didn’t want to fail. For me, I knew that
I wanted to make things as comfortable
for– for Karli and B.J. And, you know, the uncomfortable
is what I’m used to. So I really spent a
lot of time by myself, you know, thinking it through. And once I made my mind up, I
just said we’re going to do it, you know. This the only– there’s
no other way to do it. Just to do it.

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