Key & Peele – White-Sounding Black Guys

WELCOME TO THE SHOW, EVERYBODY. I AM KEEGAN. – I AM JORDAN. – AND THIS IS KEY & PEELE. THANK YOU, YES. THANK YOU. [cheers and applause] JORDAN AND I ARE– WE’RE BIRACIAL. – YES, HALF BLACK, HALF WHITE. – AND BECAUSE OF THAT, WE FIND OURSELVES PARTICULARLY ADEPT AT LYING. BECAUSE ON A DAILY […]

Key & Peele – Weird Playlist

– Let’s listen to some music, you got a playlist– – Oh yeah. – That you like? – All my music is good, man. Just put it on random. – Alright. Rock it out. – This is an audio journal of my experiments on my own human condition. (laughs) Forgot this was on here. Let’s […]

Sinbad – Make Me Wanna Holla – Relationships Are Hard

I think we got marriage– I think we should redo marriage. Let’s redo marriage. Let’s redo marriage. Let’s make it difficult to get married, easy to be divorced. Let’s make it difficult. You got to pay money up front. You got to pay a fine. You got to pay money. How much you love her? […]

Aziz Ansari – Dangerously Delicious – Dumb Advice

I WAS HAVING LUNCH WITH A FRIEND OF MINE ONCE, AND I TOLD HIM, “HEY, THERE’S THIS ONE GIRL THAT WORKS IN THIS RESTAURANT. SHE’S SO CUTE, BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HER.” AND HE GOES, “OH, MAN, ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS GO OVER THERE AND BE HONEST WITH HER FOR […]

Key & Peele – “Family Matters” – Uncensored

– YOU–LET ME THROUGH. THIS IS BULLSHIT, GENE. – WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WAIT. WHAT’S THE MATTER, RICH? – IN THE NEXT EPISODE STEVE URKEL TURNS CARL INTO A GIANT SANDWICH AND ACCIDENTALLY EATS HIM? – HA-HA, BUT WAIT, THAT’S HILARIOUS, BUDDY. IT’S HILARIOUS. – COME ON! I’M AN ACTOR, GENE! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE […]

Pete Davidson: SMD – Coping with a Family Tragedy – Uncensored

– We’ll do some 9/11 jokes, and then we’ll get the fuck out of here. How’s that sound? [laughs] It’s hard to transition into anything. I don’t have–I don’t know if you’ve noticed anything about my comedy, but there’s– there’s not many transitions. It’s very, like, “Dick, fuck, Dad.” Like, it’s, like, very straightforward, easy-listening […]

Key & Peele – Pizza Order

– HELLO? THANKS FOR CALLING MARIO’S PIZZA. THIS IS CARLOS SPEAKING. – HELLO. WE WOULD LIKE A LARGE PIE WITH PEPPERONI, PINEAPPLE, AND CHEESY CRUST. – LARGE PEPPERONI WITH PINEAPPLE AND CHEESY CRUST. – WE WOULD ALSO LIKE A LARGE PIE WITH BACON, PINEAPPLE, AND…CHEESY CRUST. – LARGE BACON, PINEAPPLE, WITH CHEESY CRUST. OKAY. IS […]

Key & Peele – I Said Bitch

– HEY, HEY, HEY, ALL RIGHT. – HEY. – HI, SWEETIE, THAT’S FOR YOU. – HEY, TRACE. HOW YOU DOING, GIRL? – CHECK IT OUT. – OH, MY. – GIRL, I GOT A SUNKEN TUB. YOU GOT TO SEE IT. – OH, I GOT TO SEE THIS. – ALL RIGHT. – YOU TWO HAVE A […]

Key & Peele – Consequences

[school bell rings] [indistinct chatter] OKAY, STUDENTS, SETTLE DOWN. SETTLE DOWN. THAT INCLUDES YOU, MR. RODRIGUEZ. DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THE MILK CARTON OFF OF YOUR HEAD? THANK YOU SO MUCH. WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST TODAY. HE’S FROM THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, AND HE’S A FORMER GANG MEMBER, AND HE’S COMING HERE THIS MORNING TO […]

Key & Peele – Country Music

HEY, ALL I KNOW IS ITS GOOD HAVING ANOTHER BROTHER MOVE INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD. – HEY, MAN, IT’S GOOD TO HAVE YOU OVER. AND I THINK THAT YOU WILL DIG THIS. – ALL RIGHT. HEY! – HUH? – NICE GUITAR COLLECTION. – OH, THANKS, MAN. HEY, YOU WANNA HEAR SOMETHING? – YEAH, SURE. – ALL […]