Bad Sponsors: Family-Sized Toilets, Just the Juice Vienna Sausages

-We here at “Late Night” have a lot of expenses. And to cover the cost of those expenses, we have taken on some sponsors, but some of them are pretty terrible sponsors. They’re sponsors we’re not proud of. Sponsors I am ashamed we took money from. But because we did, we now have to now […]

Jim Jefferies Compares Trump’s U.S. Naturalization Ceremony Speech to Obama’s

-We’ve got some good news here. Since the last time you’ve been on our show, you are now an American citizen, buddy. -Thank you. Yes. ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Really, that’s fantastic. -I feel fully American. I already hate other immigrants. That’s a big thing. Coming over here, taking my jobs. I’m American […]

Tim McGraw’s Family Motivated Him To Change His Lifestyle

>>Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW ALREADY IN PROGRESS! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST IS A THREE-TIME GRAMMY AWARD-WINNING SINGER WHO HAS SOLD OVER 50 MILLION RECORDS WORLDWIDE. HIS NEW BOOK IS “GRIT AND GRACE.” PLEASE WELCOME, TIM MCGRAW. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE […]

Kendall Jenner on Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin’s Engagement

-It’s New York Fashion Week. -Yes, it is. -It’s Fashion Week here. -Yeah. -So, thank you for being on the show during Fashion Week. -Of course. -I know you’re the ambassador for — for Longchamp. -Mm-hmm. -And that’s a big deal. -Yeah, I’m super excited. It’s their 70th year. So, to be a part of […]

White House Intentionally Left Words Out Of The Trump-Ukraine Transcript

WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ONE AND ALL, CHILDREN OF ALL AGES, MR. AND MRS. AMERICA AND ALL THE SHIPS AT SEE. WELCOME TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. NO MATTER HOW MUCH THE REPUBLICANS DON’T WANT IT, THE IMPEACHMENT INQUIRY IS NOT GOING AWAY. IT IS HERE TO […]

Wheel of Freestyle with Nicki Minaj

-Not only can you rap, but I don’t know if a lot of people know this, but you can also — you’re very good at freestyling. -A little bit. Kind of. -Well, I thought it’d be kind of fun if we played a little game on the show tonight. Just saying. You guys, what do […]

Tonight Showbotics: Jimmy Meets Sophia the Human-Like Robot

-♪ Tonight Showbotics, Tonight Showbotics ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ -Welcome to “Tonight Showbotics.” Let’s meet our first robot. Please welcome, from Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Howie Choset and Snake Bot. How you doing, buddy? -Nice to meet you. -Howie, nice to see you. -♪ Yeah ♪ -Thank you for coming on the show. I’m […]

The Lost Engagement Ring In Times Square

THERE IS SO MUCH TERRIBLE NEWS OUT THERE, THAT I’M ALWAYS ON THE LOOKOUT FOR FEEL-GOOD STORIES IN MY BRAND-NEW, LONG-RUNNING SEGMENT: “STEPHEN COLBERT’S HAPPY ENDINGS.” ( WHISTLE ) ( LAUGHTER ) TONIGHT’S “HAPPY ENDING” HAPPENED RIGHT HERE IN TIMES SQUARE– NOT FOR THE FIRST TIME. A COUPLE FLEW TO NEW YORK FROM ENGLAND, AND […]

Kim Kardashian West Responds to Kylie Jenner-Travis Scott Engagement Buzz

-I want to talk about a couple of your photos that I’ve seen. Actually, this one isn’t even yours. This is from Travis Scott. I just want to ask, is Kylie engaged? -I haven’t seen that photo. -She has a ring on her finger. And so everyone’s like, “[Gasps] Kylie’s engaged! Oh, my goodness!” [ […]

Jimmy Reacts to J.Lo’s Engagement and Trump’s Apple-gate

-Well, guys, happy daylight savings. Huh? Yeah. If it seems brighter outside, it’s either ’cause of daylight savings or it’s the sun reflecting off of J-Lo’s new engagement ring. Wow! I mean — Did you see that thing? Yeah. J-Lo got engaged to A-Rod this weekend. A lot of people are talking about the ring. […]