Key & Peele – White-Sounding Black Guys

WELCOME TO THE SHOW, EVERYBODY. I AM KEEGAN. – I AM JORDAN. – AND THIS IS KEY & PEELE. THANK YOU, YES. THANK YOU. [cheers and applause] JORDAN AND I ARE– WE’RE BIRACIAL. – YES, HALF BLACK, HALF WHITE. – AND BECAUSE OF THAT, WE FIND OURSELVES PARTICULARLY ADEPT AT LYING. BECAUSE ON A DAILY […]

Key & Peele – Weird Playlist

– Let’s listen to some music, you got a playlist– – Oh yeah. – That you like? – All my music is good, man. Just put it on random. – Alright. Rock it out. – This is an audio journal of my experiments on my own human condition. (laughs) Forgot this was on here. Let’s […]

French Restaurant – Key & Peele

– GOD, THIS PLACE IS SO NICE. – THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF THE BEST FRENCH PLACES IN TOWN. – MM, I DID NOT REALIZE THAT YOU WERE SO CULTURED. – YOU’RE SWEET. MY FRENCH IS PRETTY GOOD, SO I CAN ORDER FOR BOTH OF US. – OOH. – IF YOU’D LIKE. – […]

Key & Peele – “Family Matters” – Uncensored

– YOU–LET ME THROUGH. THIS IS BULLSHIT, GENE. – WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WAIT. WHAT’S THE MATTER, RICH? – IN THE NEXT EPISODE STEVE URKEL TURNS CARL INTO A GIANT SANDWICH AND ACCIDENTALLY EATS HIM? – HA-HA, BUT WAIT, THAT’S HILARIOUS, BUDDY. IT’S HILARIOUS. – COME ON! I’M AN ACTOR, GENE! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE […]

Key & Peele – Pizza Order

– HELLO? THANKS FOR CALLING MARIO’S PIZZA. THIS IS CARLOS SPEAKING. – HELLO. WE WOULD LIKE A LARGE PIE WITH PEPPERONI, PINEAPPLE, AND CHEESY CRUST. – LARGE PEPPERONI WITH PINEAPPLE AND CHEESY CRUST. – WE WOULD ALSO LIKE A LARGE PIE WITH BACON, PINEAPPLE, AND…CHEESY CRUST. – LARGE BACON, PINEAPPLE, WITH CHEESY CRUST. OKAY. IS […]

Key & Peele – I Said Bitch

– HEY, HEY, HEY, ALL RIGHT. – HEY. – HI, SWEETIE, THAT’S FOR YOU. – HEY, TRACE. HOW YOU DOING, GIRL? – CHECK IT OUT. – OH, MY. – GIRL, I GOT A SUNKEN TUB. YOU GOT TO SEE IT. – OH, I GOT TO SEE THIS. – ALL RIGHT. – YOU TWO HAVE A […]

Boarding Order – Key & Peele

– Good morning ladies and gentlemen, we are about to begin boarding South Northern Airlines, flight 34 to Grand Rapids. – Okay, excuse me, boarding group one. I’m gonna board in group one, excuse me, I’m in boarding group one. – And we would like to begin pre-boarding with our first class passengers. First class […]

Key & Peele – Consequences

[school bell rings] [indistinct chatter] OKAY, STUDENTS, SETTLE DOWN. SETTLE DOWN. THAT INCLUDES YOU, MR. RODRIGUEZ. DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THE MILK CARTON OFF OF YOUR HEAD? THANK YOU SO MUCH. WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST TODAY. HE’S FROM THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, AND HE’S A FORMER GANG MEMBER, AND HE’S COMING HERE THIS MORNING TO […]

Key & Peele – Black Ice

[dramatic music] – GOOD EVENING, ST. PAUL. IT’S YOUR CITY NEWS AT 5:00. I’M JAMIE THRONEBURG. – AND I’M MARCY WHITCHURCH. WINTER WEATHER ADVISORIES ARE IN EFFECT ACROSS CENTRAL MINNESOTA TONIGHT. WITH MORE ON THAT, WEATHERMAN ISAAC LABUDA. ISAAC. – THANKS, MARCY. A MAJOR SYSTEM IS ZIPPING ACROSS THE REGION. OUTSIDE TEMP RIGHT NOW, 8 […]

Key & Peele – Text Message Confusion – Uncensored

– “BEEN TRYING TO REACH OUT TO YOU ALL DAY. ARE WE ON FOR TONIGHT?” [sighs] JEEZ. – WHAT? YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. I’M LANCE MOORE. TOUCHDOWN, BITCH. WHAT? PAUSE. [phone chimes] OH, SHOOT. KEEGAN’S BEEN TEXTING ME. “SORRY, DUDE, MISSED YOUR TEXTS. “I ASSUMED WE’D MEET AT THE BAR. WHATEVER. […]