Obama & Family Light Christmas Tree

THE PRESIDENT: Merry Christmas, everybody! AUDIENCE: Merry Christmas! THE PRESIDENT: Happy holidays. We are just thrilled to have all of you here. Thank you, Secretary Salazar, for the kind introduction and for all that you’re doing to protect our national parks and our public lands for the future generations. I also want to recognize Neil […]

Meet Mitt Romney’s Mexican Mormon Family (Drug Cartels vs. Mormons Part 6/7)

[MODEM NOISES] [GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING] SHANE SMITH: Now because Colonia Lebaron is so close to the American border, they’re totally affected by our immigration policy and, of course, our war on drugs. If America sneezes, Mexico catches cold. And because of this, they are extremely interested in American political policy. You have narco cartels. You […]

Mitt Romney’s Family Kidnapped by Cartel (Drug Cartels vs. Mormons Part 7/7)

[RADIO STATIC] MITT ROMNEY: I think marijuana should not be legal in this country. I believe it’s a gateway drug to other drug violations. The use of the illegal drugs in this country is leading to terrible consequences. SHANE SMITH: Now we all know Mitt Romney’s stance on drugs, but it was interesting to hear […]

Jim Jefferies Compares Trump’s U.S. Naturalization Ceremony Speech to Obama’s

-We’ve got some good news here. Since the last time you’ve been on our show, you are now an American citizen, buddy. -Thank you. Yes. ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Really, that’s fantastic. -I feel fully American. I already hate other immigrants. That’s a big thing. Coming over here, taking my jobs. I’m American […]

2011 National Medals of Arts and Humanities Ceremony

The President: Thank you so much for joining us in this celebration of the arts and the humanities. Two outstanding public servants and ambassadors for the arts are here: Rocco Landesman. Where’s Rocco? There he is, right here — Chairman of the National Endowment of the Arts. And Jim Leach. Where’s Jim? Good to see […]

Swearing-in Ceremony of Julia Pierson as the Director of the U.S. Secret Service

The President: Okay, Joe, you’ve got the floor. The Vice President: Repeat after me. I, state your name — Julia Pierson: I, Julia Pierson — The Vice President: — do solemnly swear — Julia Pierson: — do solemnly swear — The Vice President: — that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United […]

President Obama Speaks at a Naturalization Ceremony

The President: Good morning, everybody. Audience: Good morning, Mr. President. The President: Secretary Napolitano, Director Mayorkas, distinguished guests, family and friends — welcome to the White House. Happy Fourth of July. What a perfect way to celebrate America’s birthday — the world’s oldest democracy, with some of our newest citizens. I have to tell you, […]

President Obama Speaks at Ceremony for Benghazi Victims

Secretary Hillary Clinton: Mr. President, Mr. Vice President, Secretary Panetta, Ambassador Rice, Secretary Powell and Mrs. Powell, family members of the four patriots and heroes we bring home, members of the State Department family, ladies and gentlemen, today we bring home four Americans who gave their lives for our country and our values. To the […]

Presidential Medal of Freedom 2013 Awards Ceremony

THE PRESIDENT: Good morning! (Applause.) Good morning, everybody! Everybody, please have a seat. Have a seat. Well, on behalf of Michelle and myself, welcome to the White House. This is one of my favorite events every year, especially special this year, as I look at this extraordinary group of individuals and our opportunity to honor […]