This isCouple’s Court
With The Cutlers. [KEITH] This is the case
of Bearden vs Bearden. You all have been married
for seven years and your anniversary
is coming up,
is that right? [YOLADA] That’s right.
[JEROME] Correct. Now, in your court papers,
it was indicated that there was some infidelity
in the beginning
of your marriage but you all
worked past that. But Ms. Bearden you brought
this case because you think that there
is something going on now. [YOLANDA] Yes, Your Honor.
[KEITH] Okay. Tell us what happened
in the past. I received a phone call
from my family member. And she told me
“Did you know that Jerome was in Las Vegas?” And I said no. And then she said,
“Well, he’s been
out there for three days”. So, immediately,
I’m calling his phone. He’s not picking up,
I keep calling. Text message
and text message. Three days go by, then he finally calls. He tells me that basically
he went to Las Vegas with my family
member’s boyfriend, they just had fun,
whatever. Okay, so I brushed it off. We moved in to our place, and two weeks after, I notice strange
things happening. Phone calls in the middle
of the night, text messages, going into the bathroom
to use the phone. [YOLANDA] Right.
[DANA] And this is early
in your marriage? This is three months. [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] [DANA] Three months
in your marriage,
[YOLDANA] Three months. [DANA] and you’re finding
[YOLANDA] Yes. Ain’t no finding, he’s doing. He’s doing. So, of course,
I’m an investigator. I need to know. So, he go get drunk
a little bit, perfect time to look
at the phone. And I’m seeing text messages,
“Hey, baby, how are you?” So I addressed them,
I said, “What’s going on?” He said, “Oh, it’s nobody,
it’s nobody.” “What do you
mean ‘nobody’?” You don’t be talking
to nobody, talking like
“Hey, baby.” So, couple months go by, I get a ring at the doorbell. I go to the door. He comes following behind,
coming down the stairs. Right? “What you doing coming
down the stairs?
I got this.” So I go to the door. There’s a sonogram
on the door. [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] Somebody taped a sonogram
on your door? [YOLANDA] She taped it
on the door, right. [DANA] And this is again
early in your marriage? Yes, ma’am. All right, so, Mr. Bearden, [JEROME] Yes, ma’am.
[DANA] Is this story
that’s being told the story that happened? It happened like that
but it wasn’t
“like that,” though. So, you know, I mean… it was like
a friend with benefits
kind of like thing. And I actually didn’t
expect it to go kinda
farther than what it did. And I don’t even think
that sonogram was
for me anyways. [YOLANDA] Who was it for?
[JEROME] That was like… [YOLANDA] Who was it for?
[JEROME] That could’ve been
anybody’s baby or something like that.
I mean, come on now,
at the end of the day, you couldn’t tell off
a sonogram that that’s actually my child. Like, she could’ve probably
already been pregnant
at the end of the day, so… You was with her, right? I don’t believe that
was my baby, anyway. [DANA] Okay, but let’s cut
to the chase. Whether it’s your baby or not,
we’re not here to decide that. [JEROME] Right.
[DANA] What I do
wanna confirm is you had a friend with benefits
within three months
of your marriage. It was something
that I was
getting out of her that obviously
I wasn’t getting from her. [YOLANDA] Oh, what was it?
[JEROME] So, that’s
the reason why… [YOLANDA] What was it?
[JEROME] I mean… Well, I’m almost
scared to ask, what was she doing
that your wife
wasn’t doing? Right, ’cause I can bounce
that thing too. [JEROME] Uh… [KEITH] Okay, yeah. It’s true. If you don’t ask,
you don’t get. [YOLANDA] Right.
[JEROME] That’s true. So, obviously,
what happened in Vegas
didn’t stay in Vegas. [JEROME] It didn’t stay
[YOLANDA] Sure didn’t. [YOLANDA] Sure didn’t.
[JEROME] And it was so bad
the way it happened because, I mean,
I got basically told on, so… I mean, it would’ve stayed
in Vegas, but… Are you mad
because of what you did [KEITH] or you got mad…
[JEROME] ‘Cause I got caught. [KEITH] …’cause you
[YOLANDA] ‘Cause he got caught. [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING] [JEROME] Mad ’cause
I got caught. I mean, this is what probably,
you know, got my marriage
the way it is right now. [YOLANDA] Mm-hmm.
[JEROME] So… [DANA] That was early
in your marriage.
[YOLANDA] Mm-hmm. We’re seven years
down the road,
so you stayed. [YOLANDA] Oh, yeah.
[DANA] I need to know what made you stay ’cause there have been
a lot of folks
who’d be like, “Deuces.” [YOLANDA] No.
[JEROME] Right. Because he was…
He’s my superhero. [DANA] All right. All right. He is the one that took me
out of the relationship
that I was in before. He took me and my kids
and he didn’t even know me. He’s that guy that women
dream about all the time. I want that guy. Mr. Bearden, what was it
about her that you liked? You know, when I first met her,
I knew she was like
a shooting star to me, um… Wow. I mean, it’s just…
it’s crazy. I mean,
we’re compatible, I mean, when I first seen her
walking towards me,
it was like poetry in motion. I already knew
right then and there. And you can just see it
in our pictures,
there’s love there for like, a long,
everlasting… That’s my heart.
A Perfect woman. [DANA] So, you all
got through it ’cause she’s perfect for you [DANA] and he’s your superhero?
[YOLANDA] Yes, ma’am. Did he vow to you
he wasn’t gonna
ever do this again? Yes, ma’am. He said
that from this point on… it’s gonna be no more. No more cheating,
no more talking to women,
no more. [DANA] And you mean that today?
[JEROME] Yes, ma’am. [KEITH] And you took him back
because of that?
[YOLANDA] Yes, sir. What are you here to do
in light of that vow and in light of this past? I’m trying to, like, she said,
rebuild my marriage, that’s why I’m going through
construction right now, so… I can’t be without her.
So, I’m willing to do
whatever it takes. And, Ms. Bearden,
but you’re here today because you think he’s broke
that second vow to you. Yes, ma’am. Why do you specifically
believe he’s cheating? Okay, so, I noticed changes
in our marriage again. So, as I notice the changes,
I noticed that he wasn’t… He’ll keep his phone on him. He wouldn’t set it down. So, of course, it was a party
that we were doing, he got drunk again,
and when I investigated, um, I seen text messages. And it wasn’t just
normal text messages. [KEITH] What did they say?
[YOLANDA] They were saying… He was saying he wants
to have sex with her. But she wanted a relationship. [KEITH] Mr. Bearden. Okay. Did you text another woman
to say, “I want to have sex
with you”? [JEROME] No.
[KEITH] She found these texts
in your phone. I don’t remember that. That’s the same…
that’s the same thing I got. [KEITH] If you don’t remember,
it doesn’t mean
it didn’t happen. [JEROME] I don’t remember that.
[YOLANDA] He remember. [YOLANDA] He remember
’cause I remember. I don’t remember
or recall that happening,
at all. What was it? [KEITH] Mr. Bearden,
you made a vow to your wife after you got caught,
said that it would
never happen again and now she’s saying
she found texts in your phone indicating that
it happened again. Yeah, it happened. [KEITH] It did happen again?
[JEROME] It happened. [DANA] So you did send a text
to a woman saying,
“I wanna have sex with you.” Yes, ma’am. It wasn’t gonna be nobody
that… nothing meant of it,
though, but, um, it was just a conversation. Okay, why would you
just have a “conversation” about wanting to have sex
with another woman? I’m human. Being stupid. Did you tell her at the time,
“Yeah, that’s me, I did it,
I was wrong,” or are you just now
telling her that today? Just now. How are you feeling?
I see the tears in your eyes.
Talk to me. It’s an ongoing thing. If I’m the person
that you dreamed of, why are we
going through this? I don’t cheat on you. I don’t talk…
If I do talk to a dude,
it’s a friend that I know, from years ago, before you. So why are we
going through this? [JEROME] I mean, when you don’t
have like conversation
in your household, it’s hard, you know, to kinda move on
with what you’re trying to do. And, like, that’s what
really happened. The fact that I wasn’t
getting no conversation,
no nothing, it was because of the last time. So we’ve been going
this whole time, just like, buddy buddies
and stuff like that
instead of, like, really… [YOLANDA] No, it’s not.
[JEROME] …being together,
as in a marriage, so… [JEROME] So what am I
supposed to do?
[DANA] Okay. [DANA] And we get the importance
[KEITH] Right. [DANA] Communication
[JEROME] It’s the key. That’s the only way
we survived all these years because the communication
may not always be pleasant but it’s communication, and as long as
that helps. I mean, that’s… that’s one of the secrets
of our relationships. So, Ms. Bearden, you had
to have been hurt when you
saw those text messages. [YOLANDA] Yes, ma’am.
[DANA] Did you try
to find the woman? I did. I talked to her. [DANA] What did she say?
[YOLANDA] I spoke to her. I said, “Do you know that
he is married
and he has five kids?” No, four at the time. She said,
“No, I did not know that.” Did you ask her
had they had sex? [YOLANDA] I asked her,
she said no. I don’t believe that.
I mean, a woman can say
anything, just what she wants. She can tell…
I’m the wife. She’s the other woman,
she can tell me whatever. All right. And so, Mr. Bearden, when she confronts you
with this conversation that she’s had
with this other woman, who you’ve texted to say,
“I wanna have sex with you,” what do you tell your wife
in response to that? It was an accident, basically. [DANA] You say it was
[JEROME] It was an accident. You accidentally texted
another woman that you want to have sex
with her. I mean, it sounds bad
and it make me look definitely bad or even worse
by saying it but, yes, I was
about to go out elsewhere and find what I didn’t get…
wasn’t getting at home. [KEITH] But you’re saying
you didn’t do it.
[JEROME] No. Yes, ma’am. All right, Ms. Bearden,
we’ve talked about
the text messages, have you found any
or do you have any
physical evidence… [YOLANDA] Yes.
[DANA] …that Mr. Bearden
is cheating? [YOLANDA] Yes, Your Honor.
[DANA] Okay, tell me about that. So, with the same woman,
I’m assuming, for Mother’s Day,
he had bought me
some fruit arrangements. [DANA] Okay.
[YOLANDA] Okay. And so, that was
delivered to the house. So, like a month after that
I got my bank statement.
I see fruit arrangements twice with two different prices. [DANA] Okay.
[YOLANDA] Okay, so, me being an investigator, I called Fruit Arrangements, and I talked to
a nice young lady and she described
what my wonderful husband
sent me. She said he was nice,
he was sweet, he was funny. I said, “Well, I wanna know
if you can tell me
what was bought.” She said, “Sure.” So I gave her the information
and she told me the first item was
a fruit arrangement
for $80. And it was delivered. So I said, “Okay,
that’s mine, it’s okay.” And so she said,
“The second one was picked up. And it was with chocolate
covered strawberries, 12. So somebody deserved 12
chocolate covered strawberries? [YOLANDA] I sure didn’t get it.
[DANA] I presume
you did not get those 12… I didn’t get no strawberries,
his mama didn’t get
no strawberries either. Mr. Bearden, where did
the strawberries land? It accidentally
got swiped twice, that’s the only thing
that happened, I mean, it didn’t go to nobody else. Okay, Mr. Bearden, all right,
wait, hold on, all right. [JEROME] Swiped twice.
[KEITH] Did you send a fruit
arrangement to your wife? [JEROME] Yes.
[KEITH] Did you send a second
fruit arrangement to your wife? [JEROME] Yes.
[KEITH] You sent her two? [JEROME] Twice.
[KEITH] No, did you send her
two fruit arrangements? [JEROME] No, I didn’t.
[KEITH] So you only sent one
to your wife? Yes, sir. [KEITH] All right, did you order
chocolate covered strawberries? Yes. [KEITH] Okay, did you
send those to your wife? [YOLANDA] No.
[JEROME] No. [KEITH] Who did you
send those to?
[JEROME] The other girl. The other girl? [DANA] And this is the
first time you’re hearing this?
[YOLANDA] Yes, this is. [KEITH] Okay, so it wasn’t
a swiped twice situation?
[JEROME] No. I’m not liking
what I’m hearing. But I am appreciating
that you’re being truthful. This is the place
to come clean. So, I can live with that. But she can’t live with you and another woman. And she can’t live
with this uncertainty. And she shouldn’t have to. [JEROME] You’re right. [DANA] So the court has called
a friend of the court. Ms. Tami Roman who appears on the TV show
Basketball Wives LAand is the author of the book
Mistress 101.Ron, would you escort
Ms. Roman in? Yes, Your Honor. [DANA] Hey, how are you? [TAMI] How are you?
[KEITH] It’s good to see you. [DANA] So good to see you.
[TAMI] Same here.
Happy to be here. [DANA] You have dealt with, written about… [TAMI] Yes.
[DANA] …infidelity. Hmm, tell me abut it. Would you share
with Ms. Bearden what you know about that
and how to deal with it? First thing I want to say
to you is I am heated. ‘Cause let me tell you
what I see, A beautiful, intelligent,
dynamic woman who does not recognize
her worth and her value. That’s what
I’ve been listening to. Okay. I’ve been you. I’ve been that woman
who sat home,
who tried to be a goop wife, who tried to be positive,
who tried to uplift my man, And what was he doing?
He was out with every chick in every city that he visited. I’ve been on the phone, I’ve talked to the young lady,
“Please leave my husband alone.” “I will… two kids later.” Okay. And I’m gonna challenge you, okay, she said that you fell in love
with her children first. [JEROME] Mm-hmm. [TAMI] Don’t you know those kids
are looking up to you?
[JEROME] Yes. Don’t you know those kids
need you to be
a representative and be the king
that you’re supposed to be? And how you’re treating
their mother is unacceptable. [APPLAUSE] [JEROME] You’re right.
You’re right. You’re right. Now, that’s real talk.
That’s real talk for you. And you keep saying,
“Well, I made a mistake.” Mistake is one time. Now you’re giving her behavior,
in this relationship. The longer you keep using,
“Well, there is lack
of communication,” the longer you keep
making excuses for why you’re having
this behavior, then that means you really
don’t want to be
in that situation. All right, Mr. Bearden,
you’re almost tearing up,
I can see it. ‘Cause it’s crazy,
I’m really like, feeling like
the bad person in this,
and it’s like, you know, I always heard her
saying, “Once a cheater,
always a cheater” and stuff like that, but… Excuse me one second,
you missed what I said
at the top. Which was I need you
to be a king, and show her
a different type of behavior. [JEROME] Right.
[TAMI] Because repeating
the same thing means you’re not changing. I didn’t say, “A cheater
was always gonna be
a cheater” but I’m saying prove that. Don’t talk about it,
be about it. [JEROME] Right.
[KEITH] There you go. Mr. Bearden, we’ve talked about
the importance of honesty and I’m not getting the sense that you’re being
completely honest with us. This woman
that you were texting, the woman you sent
a fruit arrangement to, have you been intimate
with that woman? This woman that
you were texting, the woman you sent
a fruit arrangement to, have you been intimate
with that woman? Yes. You have? It was like… [SIGHS] Crazy. Like a couple of times. It shouldn’t have happened. But… I mean, that’s why I’m here
trying to tell her the truth, so I can try to get this
all over with. I mean, it was… Oh, my God,
I can’t believe… you know, it happened
but it happened. When was the last time
you were with this woman? Intimately. [SIGHS HEAVILY] Like a week ago,
couple of weeks ago. Ms. Bearden, you’re crying,
I can see the tears
coming down your face. I feel hurt. I feel… I feel used. I mean, I love my husband I’m in love with my husband. He’s my number one hero. So I’m not gonna divorce him,
I don’t believe in divorce. Mr. Bearden, I commend you
for being here, I also commend you
for telling the hard truth, ’cause it’s gotta be
embarrassing to you. But here’s the deal,
you keep putting yourself
in situations where it’s gonna
lead to infidelity. You can’t flirt
and have conversations and text messages
with these women, and wink wink at ’em
and think it’s not going to
lead to something bad. [YOLANDA] Right.
[DANA] I love this man. [JEROME] Mm-hmm. Love is strong
but it’s not enough. You got to do something
with that love, I mean, you got to
do something with it. Talk is cheap. You got to put yourself
in it, all the way in. And what I would say to you
is if you spend
all of your time working on loving her you ain’t gonna have
the energy or the time
to fool with these other women. [APPLAUSE] This court has counseling
and resources available
for both of you as you move forward,
as you make this work. We want you to take advantage
of those resources. As we say in this court, do not cheat yourself
out of a chance for a good relationship. This court is adjourned.