BELLA: Yeah! I’m like, “No, I want both of you guys right now”, and yeah! BELLA: I’m Bella. This is Ken, my husband, and this is Daniel, my boyfriend. KEN: When I said, I’d been married a little over ten years, and the three of us have been together almost five? BELLA: Almost five years,
DANIEL: Almost five years, KEN: We’re a polyamorous family. KEN: We have two children,
DANIEL: That are theirs, biologically. KEN: Two children and two dogs.
DANIEL: And a cat. Don’t forget the cat, I love the cat. KEN: No I do, I forgot about the cat. BELLA: Ken and I had actually been monogamous our entire relationship. BELLA: Then we met him. DANIEL: And I was married. I was in that relationship for about eight years at that point, I think. BELLA: First time we really had interactions with each other, we were at a party. At the end of the night, I don’t know why but he was about to leave, we were saying goodbye and I kissed him. I was having very conflicted feelings about it but I wanted to do it again. So we had a real conversation about it, was it something that we want to do? Is this something we want to explore? And so we invited him over, we talked a couple of times and we all had sex and we just kind of went from there. DANIEL: Relax pornhub! Jesus, God, wow. KEN: She died.
DANIEL: She died. BELLA: No, stop it. DANIEL: I love you, same time. Her and I were together for a long time and we had problems well before they came along. KEN: There’s more people involved that need to know the information that’s going on. It became very obvious that my ex-wife was not someone who was willing to communicate. BELLA: He’d been coming around for a long time and they were kind of used to him being around. And then it was just like, “Oh, well Danny is going to live with us now” you know, and they’re like, “Ok”. BELLA: The girls were playing with one of their friends and their friend kind of remarked to our little one. She was like, ‘You have two dads and a mom!” And she’s like, “Yeah, some people have two dads and that’s ok”. KEN: We share responsibility parenting, we all sort of parent together in our own various styles and on the same team. DANIEL: I’m a professional magician, you know, and Bella performs with me and will go with me and do gigs on weekends and stuff. There was a lot of times where Ken’s got to have the girls and Ken watches the girls and then when Ken’s got to work, as he travels for work sometime, then we are there to watch the girls. DANIEL: Three of us sleep in the same bed, We have a king size bed. KEN: She sleeps in the middle.
BELLA: I’m in the middle. DANIEL: She sleeps on 70% of the bed.
KEN: It’s true and we’ve got advanced balancing skills. DANIEL: Yeah, and right on the edge, it’s just amazing.
BELLA: It’s not that bad. DANIEL: She’s the smallest of us but somehow expands. DANIEL: Yes.
KEN: Yes, yeah. DANIEL: Absolutely.
KEN: It’s not very common. DANIEL: Yeah, it’s an uncommon thing. It’s like cake, you don’t have cake all the time God damn it. KEN: Pie is better, I prefer pie. BELLA: It’s actually not very often that the three of us are together. DANIEL: No.
KEN: Yeah, very rarely. BELLA: Sexually.
DANIEL: It’s usually the two of us or the two of them. BELLA: Yeah.
DANIEL: That’s generally what it is. DANIEL: We are going to do a show this afternoon. Bella caught on to the performing very well and became a character in the show. DANIEL: Absolutely, someone who’s always been there and will always be there. DANIEL: I don’t know, I don’t know, that’s a good one. He’s definitely somebody that I’m connected with strongly but I don’t know about soulmate. DANIEL: Absolutely four million percent yes!
KEN: Happens all the time. BELLA: Yeah. I think the worst thing that you can do is pretend that you’re not jealous when you are and just completely ignore the feeling. KEN: If you ignore, it will breed resentment, and if you talk about it and you deal with it then maybe you can find the root cause and get past it. BELLA: If I want, yeah. DANIEL: And then if we also, because we do also have other partners and things. We do bring in other, not partners, but other people. KEN: I have a girlfriend. Her name is Laura. She is wonderful. We have been together more than two years now. She has two kids of her own. LAURA: We chatted for like a month and then went for coffee and coffee went really well. For now, our relationship is like as entwined as it’s going to get. We are not going to merge finances or move in together, but we love each other a lot. I’m just happy when your life is going well with Vanessa and at home. And every once in a while something happens where I am like, “Oh that’s so cute. I wish I could have that,” but it doesn’t mean that I feel badly about the fact that they get to.
KEN: Right. KEN: Laura’s not involved with Vanessa or Daniel.
DANIEL: Nope. KEN: She and I are involved and that’s her attachment to us. KEN and DANIEL: No.
BELLA: I don’t think so. KEN: No, I don’t think so. She and I have our own relationship and our own dynamic and I don’t think.. BELLA: And we are all friendly.
DANIEL: We are friendly! Yeah. KEN: Of course, yeah. LAURA: When I talk about my partners, I’m talking about our lives and our emotions and our regular passing, we went on a date sort of things. I’m not like running around being like, “By the way we are all sex fiends.” Because we’re not really I mean, okay. We have a great sex life but that’s not the point. KEN: Yeah, that’s not the key element. DANIEL: I am a grown man performing in a backyard in a skirt, I’ll earn your pity, okay? BELLA: It’s not something to just like try for fun because it’s people and it’s human beings and there’s feelings and you have to kind of know what you are getting into. DANIEL: Whether you believe or not, you have to admit it makes for a pretty good story. JUDY: I can’t say in the beginning I understood, because I had a one person relationship for 33 years until he died. But as long as they are all happy and things go well, that’s fine with me. All I want is for my kids to be happy. DANIEL: You get someone that you can commiserate with when someone else is being a jerk – if that’s the case, and you get someone who can be a go-between if that’s what needs to be done. KEN: And sometimes you are being the jerk, Daniel. DANIEL: I know, sometimes you are being the jerk Kenneth. KEN: Listen sometimes you are both wrong. That’s just, that’s the way it is. DANIEL: No one will agree on that, at all. BELLA: Do they gang up on me? No it’s a lot of that, they play off each other and I’m in the middle. DANIEL: Are we not doing phrasing anymore?
KEN: We’re metaphorically speaking here?