Key & Peele – Text Message Confusion – Uncensored

– “BEEN TRYING TO REACH OUT TO YOU ALL DAY. ARE WE ON FOR TONIGHT?” [sighs] JEEZ. – WHAT? YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. I’M LANCE MOORE. TOUCHDOWN, BITCH. WHAT? PAUSE. [phone chimes] OH, SHOOT. KEEGAN’S BEEN TEXTING ME. “SORRY, DUDE, MISSED YOUR TEXTS. “I ASSUMED WE’D MEET AT THE BAR. WHATEVER. […]

Key & Peele – Office Homophobe

[rhythmic bass beat, sensual moans] ♪ ♪ – LATRELL? – WHAT’S UP, BABY GIRL? – CAN YOU PLEASE TURN THAT OFF? – WHY, YOU DON’T LIKE MY MUSIC? – IS IT MUSIC? BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE A BUNCH OF SEX NOISES OVER A BASS LINE. – OH. I GET IT. YOU DON’T LIKE MY MUSIC […]

“Walter’s Wisdom: The joys of marriage” | Arguing with Myself | JEFF DUNHAM

– Getting married’s kinda like buying a new car. – A new car? – You know when you see that car in the showroom floor, just before you take it home? – [Jeff] Yeah. – That’s as good as it’s ever gonna look. (audience laughing) Pretty soon, it’ll have dents and scratches, parts start to […]

Marriage in Decline – The Jim Jefferies Show

>>Who knows why some things have staying power and some don’t and policy issues. Blues Traveler The kids from Jerry Maguire and smoking in hospitals all things that we thought would be around forever but didn’t quite survive. And now another longstanding cultural institution may be on the way at words.>>Maybe going out of style […]

Marry Your Friend, Not Your Lover – You Let Me Down

– I think it’s fair to say most people want to get married one day. I do. And by that I mean if I ever do get married, I want it to last 24 hours, that’s it. Commitment scares the living shit out of me. It scares everybody. Why do I get shit for not […]

Trevor Moore: High in Church – “Gays Got Married”

♪ I grew up in an American town ♪ ♪ No locks on the doors when we all bedded down ♪ ♪ to sleep ♪ Met a pretty young girl and made her my bride ♪ ♪ After church on Sundays, take the kids for a ride ♪ ♪ down the street ♪ Swimming holes, […]

Whitney Cummings – I Love You – Marriage & Sex

Love makes you think about doing things you never thought you’d do before, you know? Like, getting married. I thought I was gonna get married. For me, I never thought I was gonna get married ’cause I have all this divorce in my family, you know? I also think when you get older as a […]

Chappelle’s Show – Trading Spouses

HI, AND WELCOME TO “TRADING SPOUSES,” THE SHOW WHERE WE TAKE TWO MARRIED COUPLES, AND YOU GUESSED IT, MAKE THEM TRADE SPOUSES FOR A WHOLE MONTH. WATCH THE SPARKS FLY TODAY, BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME ON OUR SHOW, WE’RE GOING INTERRACIAL. ( man ) DADDY’S GOING AWAY FOR A LITTLE WHILE, ALL RIGHT ? […]

Inside Amy Schumer – A Couple Chooses a Movie

the epic finale of “Cupcake Wars”.What should we watch? Uh, you wanna do a movie? What time is it? 11:30? All right. If we watch a 90 minute movie, I’d take an Ambien in an hour– You wanna take a shower. No, I’m not. All right, whatever. You wanna see what’s on demand? Yeah, what […]

CAMPUS COUPLE EPISODE 1, MAD OVER YOU CONTINUES

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